The Free State of Avalonia was declared on June 23rd 1985 under an oak tree in the King’s Meadow overlooking the Vale of Avalon. The physical boundaries of the State have long been a matter of conjecture, but they almost certainly contain the town of Glastonbury and much of the low lying land of willows, quiet streams and irrepressible legends that surrounds it. Famously it boasts its own State Choir, various government departments, its own currency, flag and numerous publications including the Avalon Thunderer
and the infamous Times of Avalonia
.
The Abbey is believed to be the site of the first Christian church in Britain and the burial place of King Arthur. Joseph of Arimathea rolled up one day to convert the pagan Britons and rested his staff (typists etc.) here. His staff took root, which was taken as a sign that this was a Good Place. The town is famous for the landmark of the Tor, which is traditionally the place where the Holy Grail lies buried. The Holy Grail which King Arthur’s knights sought is said to have been brought from Jerusalem by Jo of Arim and rests beneath Chalice Well. The Holy Grill is the less-famous café where Art, Lance and the rest of the round table crew used to hang out between Dragon slaying and other heroic deeds.
One of the seven wonders of Avalonia is the ley line that passes through Knight’s Fish & Chip shop, Northload St, Glastonbury to Ali Baba’s Kebab House in Cairo – it actually passes through the gent’s urinals in the Assembly Rooms.
The official currency of Avalonia is, of course, the Fumit. Standard denomination 23 Fumit notes are legal tender in exchange for items such as fags, second-hand postcards, blims, black plastic bags and the like.
Government bodies
- The Department of Stealth and Holy Security
- The DSHS is Avalonia’s longest running joke. Now that it’s public offices at 5 High St have closed, Avalonian residents wishing to claim their hereditary unemployment benefit have to claim for shirking tax credit at the RBT.
- The Ministry of Magic
- A relatively new department, founded by Dion Fortune in the 1940s to stem the tide of psychic piracy and virtual vampirism.
- The Ministry of Food Fisheries and Fun Fur
- Oversees the production of fairy cakes and fortune cookies.
- The Ministry of Cricket
- Avalonia has fielded a fine Stonehenge rules side for most of its 23 year history, not counting tea breaks.
The Avalonian Embassy, yesterday.
Local Notables
- The Very Rev. Boris Gestentner
- Discoverer of the Avalonian Book of the Dead. Curator of the Avalonian Museum of Theological Artefacts; Religious and Moral advisor to the Free State.
- Ali Glastafari
- Purple Party president and Avalonian logic inspectorate – founder of the mystical Glastafari sect that believes that Bob Marley’s dad came from Pilton and
Iron Lion Zion
was written about Chalice Well.
Fly Avalonian Airwaves
The Free State of Avalonia actively opposes the use of terror, bullying or fearmongering as a means to any end. We promote unity and fairness between all races, classes, genders, species, sexualities, belief systems, music styles and beverage preferences using art, humour and the medium of the internet. We just wanted to make that clear.
